Monday, May 19, 2014

Wanderlust

Wanderlust (n).- A strong desire to travel the world.
Have you ever felt that urge? The strong almost physically painful desire to explore, to experience the infinite world. To wake up in a different city everyday; to eat different food and speak different tongues.

I sometimes envy people who seem content; they are so happy staying put in the place where they were born; happy to settle and live. The reason is that my wanderlust hurts. It is painful beyond existence. For a major side effect of wanderlust is frustration; that vexation of not being able to quench that thirst of yours. For the billion or so reasons you can't travel (economic/family issues) just add to your blood pressure of wanting to get the hell out of the place you are currently stuck in.

And I'm not talking family sight-seeing sprees; I'm talking week long treks completely alone, just you and your camera, no package tour for you; just pure exploration. Going completely hipster here but you know what I mean- albums of highly filtered landmarks and coffee shops. Beautiful architecture and wonderful people. All this completely alone.

And even if you did have the chance to see wonderful places, it is never enough. For wanderlust is something that you can never quench; leaving you with this life-long feeling of dissatisfaction enough to drive any self-respecting person crazy.
I guess for now, London and Paris will have to wait.


Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Existential Crises

Notice the Plural. Crises. While normal people question their existence probably once or twice in their lifetime (See- "Mid-Life Crisis"), I seem to do this once a month.
The dictionary defines an Existential Crisis as "a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of his or her life: whether his or her life has any meaning, purpose or value."

That pretty much sums it up. The sudden moment in your life when bolt upright in your bed wide-eyed and ask yourself just what the Felix Felicis you are doing with your life. Whether your life would ever amount to anything, whether you are making your life count. This however has some dire consequences, one of which includes you wondering whether you should bother doing anything with your life at all since you are going to die eventually anyway.  You're left to ponder the pointlessness of your existence in a lonely corner of your room while all your friends are out partying on a Friday night. 

You are left pretty much looking like this

I shall introduce a new term at this point: "The Mini Crisis" *cue widespread thunder and lightning*. This is something I get approximately twice a week, specially after consulting with my tutor in studio, and once every hour after crit. This crisis is the kind you get when you are fine with most of your life, except your career goals, or your passions. You're perfectly ok with how you live, your friend circle, what you guys do to hang out; basically you're short term goals are sorted out. It's when you surface after a particularly bad bout of criticism that you start questioning details of your life. What am I doing? Why did I take this course? Why am I doing a degree if I dont like it? I wanted to do something else, why am I doing this?


 The people who tell you not to compare yourself with others are spouting utter Bolshevik. We bloody live in a system that FRICKIN GRADES YOU ON COMPARISON. NOT ON HOW WELL YOU ARE DOING INDIVIDUALLY, BUT HOW WELL YOU ARE DOING WITH RESPECT TO OTHERS. Then HOW IN THE NAME OF MERLIN'S SAGGY Y-FRONTS can you not compare yourself to other people? Literally everyone I know is doing an internship over the summer. Literally. Everyone. And I'm sitting here telling myself I'll learn skills over the summer to get me a really good job next year. WHY? Why does every single thing in this frickin system, society and otherwise make us feel like a piece of shit? 

Then there's that mini heart attack you get when you realise that you are no longer a child and the world dosen't just combine effortlessly to do your bidding. I once had a panic attack just lying on my bed and THINKING about all my future responsibilities. I then curled up under my blanket and cried for half an hour. Talk about denial. 
You know the worst thing? When you see people you know actually doing something useful. Just when you thought you were doing fine and BAM  you relapse into the curled up ball of mess you were when you were questioning your life.
Dragging yourself out of it is quite hard, but it is vital that you do. Because as much as you feel that the world has come to a stop so that you can get out of your little crisis, guess what, life goes on. You'll need to pull yourself together as fast as possible because if you dont,  you will get left behind. Don't let your career choice impede your passion. Do things that make you happy. If you can't, well, suck it up and move on.
Rant Over. Peace Out. 


Sunday, May 11, 2014

Time Flies - 11th May 2014

It's been almost five months since my last post. Yikes! I haven't written at all this sem, and I'm disappointed in myself. The stories that fill my head can traverse volumes and volumes, yet my laziness keeps them in my mind. Oh, if only it was possible to imagine a world and it literally comes to life in front of you.
You know what else would be useful? Hermione's goddamn bag. Yes, that little bag which can fit billions of little infinities. I'm a bitter little thing at the moment as I just came out of the semi-annual moving spree. Moving out of my room every sem is the single most annoying thing that NUS can ever make anyone do and it just irks the crap out of  me. Oh my God, another sem has just travelled through my life without so much as a warning. So let's explore this semester shall we?

What did I do this semester?
Looking back at it now, I honestly don't remember working (sorry mum, but it's a fact). The past four months have been full of performances, outings, and shows.I finally survived enough to be backstage at a Bollywood show (which was a success every time I saw it; a show that thoroughly immortalized the thirteen or so songs they used in more ways than one). I also performed in my first ever Improv show; something I've been dying to do ever since I first saw "Whose Line is It Anyway?" on TV!

Speaking of performances, I seemed to be watching a lot this semester. Watched a couple of plays live (it's funny because it was my first time actually watching a show which wasn't produced in school), one of which was my all time favourite musical "My Fair Lady" in MBS!
Let's not forget NUS's best module ever, TS1101E; seriously guys, if you still dont know what to do about your Arts GEM, just take it. It leads you through the world of theatre on the basic level, and gives you the opportunity to hone your acting and performance skills. I rediscovered several passions in this module, and also had a lot of fun doing an Irish Accent and watching real plates get smashed on stage for our Practical
Final!
Oh on this half of  the year falls my Birthday Month: my wonderful gifts made up for my intense workload. Not to mention this video made by my friends which raises the bar for great birthday gifts to a whole new level.
I'll leave the best for last: TARANG. Every year, the Indians of three big universities in Singapore (In this case NUS, NTU and SIM) gather for a solid month of fun and games, competing for the prestigious (haha) TARANG Champions cup (sponsored by Moshi Moshi Bollywood :P )
Won first place with my amazing group in the Comedy Drama (wherein I played a badass- chappal- throwing- Bong- accented Mamta No-Darjee) and had the honour to watch the most talented people on stage with the Western and Indian Bands and the Dance. I look back at that experience now and don't regret a second of it. All those hours practising late into the night, the lost Tarang Weekend, and the after-party (not to mention the glorious friends I made) will forever be inscribed in my heart as one of my fondest memories.


In a nutshell, this semester has been a semester of ups and downs, same as always, except that the roller coaster ride was a fun one. Looking forward a summer of learning and new things. BRING IT ON THIRD YEAR!